


I Make You Happy?

by theangelwiththewormstache



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas deal with the Empty mentioned, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:28:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24971578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theangelwiththewormstache/pseuds/theangelwiththewormstache
Summary: Dean finds out about Cas's deal with the Empty and finds out what makes Cas happy.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 90





	I Make You Happy?

Jack and Dean were sitting across from each other at the kitchen table, sneaking in some of Sam's cereal. Dean has been worried about Cas as he sometimes locks himself in his room for hours. He was wondering out loud when his soulless kid says, "He made a deal." 

Dean tenses up knowing damn well that when Cas makes a deal there is some bad shit coming. Without waiting for Jack to explain Dean leaves him in the kitchen. The moment he reaches Cas room he starts pounding at the door. Yelling at Cas to open up.

Cas opened the door with narrowed and confused eyes. "Dean?"

"What the hell did you do?" He screamed as he grabbed the collar of Cas shirt and pushed him up against the wall.

"Dean, what are you talking about?" Cas asked, confused as he tried to read his expression. Dean knew Cas would never read his mind but he wished he would this time so he’ll stop acting stupid.

"Okay, don't you dare pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. The deal! Tell me about the deal you made! What'd you do? And why the hell did you do it?" Dean yells with an angry growl.

Cas sighs in defeat. "The empty was about to take Jack. So I traded… me for him. The empty will come the moment I give myself permission to be happy."

Cas speaks in such a soft tone looking deep into Deans' eyes. Dean was silent for a moment looking for any hint that Cas could possible be fucking with him but Dean knew he wasn't

"We could have found another way!" Dean tightens his hold on Cas' collar as his jaw locked in anger. Here he thought that maybe, just maybe they only had to focus on God but now this! He has to worry about losing his best friend again!

"There was no other way, Dean. It had Jack. I couldn't just let it take him from me."

"But I have to let it take you? Is that what you're saying?" Dean glared at the angel who could easily push Dean away but wasn't fighting. "I just got you back, Cas!"

_ We just became a family again _ . Dean wanted to scream out but he could feel his voice betraying him.

"It won't take me," Cas reassured him. "I haven't been happy in years."

Dean groaned and punched Cas, ignoring the crack he heard coming from his own hand. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

"Let me heal you." Cas reached for Dean when he finally let go of Cas’s shirt and started to walk away.

"I don't want you to fucking heal me! I want you to care about yourself! I want you to think… " Dean turned around and faced a startled Cas. "Think about your family. Think about me who has to fucking mourn your death again!"

"Dean."

Dean could feel the adrenaline run through his body as his anger rose. If Cas is happy… he dies. Yet, all Dean wants is for his family to be happy. For Cas to be happy. He thought that maybe when this is all over. When Chuck was dead they could work on being happy. Work on being together but now he doesn't see that happening. 

"Why do you keep making such stupid decisions?" Dean yells as he closes his eyes and holds his hand to his chest. "Why do you keep leaving me out of them?"

"I didn't want to add more worry to your already full plate, Dean." Cas simply said and Dean can hear him behind him. Hear that he is respecting Dean's decision to not be healed and keeping his distance. "We really don't have to worry about it. I know what will make me truly happy and I know, I accepted, that it won't come true. So you're stuck with me alive. For now, I guess."

"Yeah, well what's that?" Dean slowly opened his eyes as he turned around to look at his friend. 

"What?" Cas took a step back and looked away from Dean. 

"Tell me so that we can avoid it," Dean tells him in a stern voice. "I know we ain't always rainbows and unicorns here but if you being miserable as the rest of us is keeping you alive then we got to keep it that way. Cause I ain't losing you again, Cas. Not again."

Cas shook his head. "It's not of import."

"The hell it is!" Dean took a step closer to Cas who finally looked up to meet his eyes. "You gotta help me save you, Cas! Please."

Cas eyes soften at Dean's words. He then closed the distance between them and put a hand over Dean's mouth. Dean, wide-eyed, watched Cas kiss the back of his hand with his eyes closed. Kissed just where Dean's lips should be. 

Dean felt the familiar and welcoming tingle of grace run through him as the aching muscles and broken hand magically went away. His breath was caught in his throat as he watched Cas, who was actually blushing like a real boy, slowly take a step back and open his eyes. He didn't meet Dean's as he instead looked down on the floor.

"That," Cas said after what felt like forever in silence. "That but the real thing. That would make me truly happy."

"Cas," Dean said his name like a breath he was holding in. 

"I'm sorry. I don't wish for things to be awkward between us but you wanted to know what would make me happy. What could kill me."

"Me." Dean gasped. "I make you happy?"

Cas looked at him with a sad but  _ of-course-you-idiot _ smile. 

"Why? Why me?" Dean asked, not truly understanding. 

"Dean, I always loved you. I would do anything for you. I would follow you anywhere. In my very long life, I’ve never met anybody like you. And I know nobody will ever be like you. Cause your Dean and I love you."

Dean wasn't expecting a confession. He thought maybe Jack would be what made him the happiest but not this. Not him.

Because now he had to do something he didn't want to do. He had to say words he didn't mean. He had to let go of the man or angel he loved and saw a future with. Because he'll rather have Cas alive and as a buddy than dead. 

"We're friends. Best friends. That's it." Dean wanted to add the ' _ for now _ .' But didn't want to risk it. And it pained him to see the look of hurt in his eyes.

"I understand." Cas gulped down and looked away from Dean again. "May I still stay here?"

"Y-yeah… yeah just maybe… don't bring it up." Dean nods as he looks away too. "We're still family. And we'll find a way to get you out of that deal."

Cas laughed, it was cold. "Why? It's not like I'll ever be truly happy."

"Because… I want you to be." Dean tells him and without looking back at Cas he walked away. He hurried down the hall and into his room. He turned the music as loud as it could go as he hid and drank. 

"I love you too," Dean whispers to himself as he laid in bed with hot tears running down his face. 


End file.
